Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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