I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize