just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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