im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
