Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
