roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
