Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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