The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
MIDGETS
????
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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