Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
