And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize