Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
