what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
