Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize