Jerry, you need to find god
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize