you guys were way drunker than both of me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
