Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
