my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
