Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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