We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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