There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We had sex on a dog bed..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
