Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My vagina just clenched in fear
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
