Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
