And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
