Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize