My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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