i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I only lived at night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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