Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
