Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
