So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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