ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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