I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize