I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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