yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
