her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just pee around me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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