Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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