she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
