I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
