Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
