i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
