Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
