Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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