We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
