We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
40s are totally the cure
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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