I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
