i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize