You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
