i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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