I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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