I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
