ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
