Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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