Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Are my feet made of real feet?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I want is dick and wine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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