i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
