you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
