WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
