i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
