Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
