can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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