not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
