Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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