I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
