The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
